


The Spectacles of Eros (But in Persona 4)

by RavenThePhantomThief



Category: Persona 4, Persona Series
Genre: Comedy, Confusion, F/M, Humor, Love, One Shot, Short One Shot, The Spectacles Of Eros
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-08-26
Updated: 2018-08-26
Packaged: 2019-06-22 23:26:26
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,293
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15593118
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/RavenThePhantomThief/pseuds/RavenThePhantomThief
Summary: The Spectacles of Eros: When someone wears this glasses, everyone around them, even those who hate them, fall in love with them.The Spectacles of Eros are an item that appears in the gag-reels of BlazBlue and I tried to use them in the Persona universe. P4 was my first try. I hope you can enjoy it.





	The Spectacles of Eros (But in Persona 4)

**Author's Note:**

> The Spectacles of Eros are an item that appears in the gag-reels of BlazBlue and I tried to use them in the Persona universe. P4 was my first try. I hope you can enjoy it. If you think it is not totally and completely shitty, I might try P3 or P5. The main reason I wrote this is, that someone asked me to write a story like "The Guinea Pig In The Park" for P3 and P4. I kinda wrote this in a hurry, but I hope it is still enjoyable. I continue crying in the endnotes. See you there.
> 
> PS: The picture makes this look really shitty on a phone, but I like the view on a computer screen. Are a lot of you guys reading this on a phone or on a bigger screen? (Haven't tried a tablet) If it looks stupid for a lot of you I think I change it to a normal view.
> 
> PPS: I made that screenshot myself on my Vita. Just in case someone wants to know.

| Yukiko was sitting on the couch in the living room of the Dojima-residence. The group wanted to meet here, but Yukiko decided to arrive a bit earlier. She didn't have a special reason for that. What she had was a special pair of glasses. Sunglasses. They were red and heart-shaped. Teddie had crafted them like he had crafted glasses for everyone to see through the fog in the TV-world. Apparently, he was bored and started to create a new version.  
  
"They have the power of love Yuki-Chan!" He sang this words while showing her the glasses. "Whoever wears this glasses gets the maximum love of all the people around him or her!" Then he stopped dancing around and pressed the glasses into her hand. "Now I don't know what to do with them, so I gift them to you Yuki-Chan! See you later! Bye!"  
  
And now Yukiko was sitting in Yu's living room. The boy was busy with cooking some food (an ability which made Yukiko a bit jealous). He had his back to her so he couldn't see her, but she still didn't want to stare at him, so she focused on Teddie's gift instead. They would be a great accessory, but the shape was a bit... too crazy, maybe?  
---|---  
  
"What are you thinking about?" Yu's voice brought her back to reality. He placed two cups of tea on the table and walked towards her. "The rice needs a few more minutes, so we have some time. What's on your mind?"

"Oh, nothing. Nothing special. I just thought that the glasses Teddie made would really suit you!" She gave him a weak smile and waited for his reaction. When he smiled back, the girl carefully placed the glasses on his face. He was a cool guy, but suddenly his coolness jumped up on an even higher level. Even with the unusual shape, they looked so natural on him. Yu should wear sunglasses more often. "I knew it! You look awesome!" Yukiko giggled.

A loud noise interrupted their conversation. Rise Kujikawa came through the door. She was panting heavily. "Senpai! There you are!" She walked towards him. Her face was red, her lips formed a smile and her eyes were... heart-shaped? Yukiko brought some distance between Rise and herself. Yu wasn't as smart and was immediately trapped in a hug from the idol. "Senpai! Listen to me!" She leaned against his chest and looked up to him. "Senpai..." She pulled herself up with his jacket until she reached his ear and said: "I. Love. You!"

"WHAAAAAAAT?"

Now Yu was blushing. He didn't know how to react. Yukiko didn't know what to do either. She just stood in the corner and watched the scene. "Of course I know that my beloved Senpai is the dream guy of many girls. How could anyone resist this muscular body of yours?" She pressed her index finger against his chest. "But that is exactly the point. You may ask yourself: Why should I choose Rise when my sexy body allows me to have every girl I want? And the answer to this: My body! You heard right! If you choose me, you have exclusive access to famous idol Risette's body!" She did a pirouette to show herself to Yu. "That's right. The body of Rise Kujikawa will belong to you alone!" Yu wanted to take a few steps back from her, but the idol grabbed his arms and yanked him back. "That also includes my... virginity."

"Excuse me... but WHAAAAAT?"

"If you are still not sure about the advantages of choosing me, that's okay! I already prepared this album full of... "product pictures!" She winked and handed him an album. Her smile couldn't have been more suggestive. Yukiko was afraid of the contents of the book, but she was also afraid of what would happen if someone interrupted Rise in her attempted of seduction. Yu was looking through the pictures. Yukiko couldn't see them, but according to their leaders face, the content could be described as "raunchy". A small stream of blood left Yu's nose.

"It's okay. You can look all you want. And if you are in the mood after that you can bury your XXXX in my-"

Suddenly the door opened again. This time, it was Chie who entered the room. She stood there, legs apart, one hand on her hip and the other pointed at Rise. Her eyes were... heart-shaped.

"Stop right there evil-doer! The power of love and kung-fu compels you!" She walked towards Yu and grabbed the album. "Typical. You tried to seduce Narukami-Kun with you feminine assets! To bad that he isn't interested in girls that don't have anything else than her empty girlishness!" She ripped the album apart. "NOOOOO!" Rise cried out. "The nudes I made for Senpai! Do you know how hard it was to make all these photos? From all these different angles?"

"Oh, so you are capable of feeling shame? I would have never guessed!" Chie laughed. "No matter how much you show around your girly behaviour, Narukami-Kun will only give you a weak smile."

"What? Why?" Rise gave Chie a frightened look.

"Because you forgot one important thing: Tomboys are key to ultimate happiness! Your girlishness isn't enjoyable for Narukami-Kun at all!"

"WHAAAAAAAT? NOOOOOHOHOHOHO!"

"Hahaha!" Chie laughed. "You see that you have no chance against me. Now if you excuse me, I have to go somewhere together with my-" she looked at Narukami, her heart-eyes went wider while talking "-TRUE LOVE!"

"WHAAAAT?!" Yu didn't seem able to say much more. He didn't even get the chance to say anything at all, because Chie picked him up and carried him like he was a skateboard or something. The boy just kept staring in one direction with empty eyes. "You know Chie: I would be really impressed by your raw strength if this entire situation wasn't so uncomfortable and confusing!"

"Stop it! Chie! We may be friends, but if we are also rivals in love, then I won't hesitate to fight against you!"

"Fight against me? You think you had a chance? I could easily crush your head with my thighs! Which is a threat for you Rise," Chie looked at Yu once again and continued with a mischievous voice, "and an offer for you, Narukami-Kun."

"How dare you? Making such an offer to the man that belongs to me!" But before the two could make her fight physical, someone else entered the room. A girl with a blue hat and... a gun!

"Stop right there! Both of you, stay away from Senpai!"

"No! Why are you here? Don't make this so hard. You can't defeat my love for Senpai!" Rise exclaimed. "Yeah!" Chie added, "also, isn't it illegal to just run around with a weapon like that? It would be a shame if the famous detective prince would land in jail?"

"Yes, it would. But actually, I am allowed to use it in this... HOSTAGE SITUATION!"

"What? A hostage situation?"

"Yes, it is a hostage situation! Senpai clearly doesn't want to be with you two! In case you don't believe me, I have scientific proof that you all are unable to make Senpai happy. The reason you all aren't able to do that is that you all are wearing skirts!"

"What?"

"Skirts are too feminine for the exquisite taste of Senpai! After a long research, I came to one revolutionary realisation: Tomboys are key to ultimate happiness!

"Wait a moment!" Chie pointed at Naoto. "Did you wait outside and listen to everything, just to steal and use stuff to your own advantage? Because what you just said is my revolutionary scientific founding!

Naoto froze in her movement. She looked like she was thinking about something. Then she pointed at Chie and said: "Tomboys are key to unlimited happiness!"

"You just changed what I said!"

"Well, it doesn't matter because you aren't my problem any more."

Rise glared at her. "What did you do?"

"Let's just say that I have good ties to the police and if I find some... illegal substances in the house of a teenage girl that went crazy through all her fame, no one will question it."

"What? Naoto! How could you do this to me?"

"And Chie," the detective grinned at the girl. "I won't go into details, but you might get a visit from Child Protective Service very soon."

"WHAAAAT? WHY ARE YOU DOING THIS TO US?"

"To proof that you rotten individuals are not good enough for Senpai!" She turned towards Yu, who was still stuck in Chie's grip. "Don't worry, you don't have to be afraid of this horrible people any more."

"Not so fast!"

Two more people appeared in the room. Marie and Margaret. Heart-eyes included.

"Could you people please stop kicking open the door?" Yu sighed. "Dojima will blame me for this!"

"Don't worry." Marie said while glaring at Naoto. "We will save you from these evil women!"

"You know, every time someone said something about "saving me" in the last five minutes, terrible things have been said... and probably done, so I'm not sure if I am able to NOT worry about ALL OF THIS!"

Naoto chuckled. "And what do you want to do? Do you know how much influence I have? I work together with the police! I just have to make up some evidence and you all end up in jail! There is nothing you can do- is that a detonator in your hand?"

Margaret. pressed the button on the detonator. They could here an explosion in the distance.

"Wait... was that?"

"THE POLICE STATION! NO!" Naoto screamed. "All the false evidence I had prepared for you!"

"You know," Rise walked up to her and gave her a disdained look. "Using the police to get a man is... really sad. Impressive... but really sad. But that just means that everything is balanced out now. So we can have an honest battle now. Who gets to be with Senpai. The last person who is alive becomes Senpai's bride!"

"Wait, why does this sound like I am going to die here, too?"

"Don't panic Narukami-Kun! I will protect you!"

*boom*

This time, the door got kick open so hard, that it finally crashed down to the floor. Kanji, Yosuke and Teddie had arrived. Their eyes were exactly like the eyes of the other girls. Heart-shaped. Yukiko gasped. So even the boys are crazy for their leader?

"Get away from my partner you harpies!" Yosuke crossed his arm.

"Don't worry Sensei! Teddie is here to save you!" Teddie yelled and waved at him.

"After all, it needs a man to know what a man wants!" Kanji grind and prepared himself for a fight.

"Excuse me, but what?" Yu was finally able to free himself from Chie's grip (only because she was preparing herself for a fight, too. And then, it happened. Everyone stormed at everyone. Screams filled the air. Yu was able to crawl out of the battle but Teddie tackled him from behind. They both crashed through the glass door of the living room and landed in the garden. Yukiko ran after them.

"Hey are you okay? Narukami-Kun!"

"Woah, what happened? Why am I here?" Teddie looked at Yukiko and then to the floor. In his hand were the heart-shaped glasses. Yu had lost them when he was tackled into the backyard.

"Oh, you gave Sensei the glasses! They really suit him well."

"Wait, Teddie!" Yukiko grabbed him. "Why are you back to normal again? Wait, is it really just because of these glasses?"

"Of course. They are magical after all." Teddie laughed, like the giant battle behind him was not his fault. The others had returned to their normal behaviour too, but they were still fighting out of confusion and anger.

"AH, Chie why are you pulling my hair! Take this!"

"Oh! Damned Yosuke!"

"So... This glasses really work? And I started this by giving them to Narukami-Kun?"

"Yeah." Teddie laughed and looked at the fight "I think Nanako would look cute with them too!"

"NOOOO!" Yukiko grabbed the item out of his hand and put them away. "I think Child Protection Service has enough work for today."

They looked at Chie, who was trying to fight off four people from the Child Protection Service.

"What do you want from me! Get your hands away!"

Yukiko sighed. So the meeting was over before it really begun.

"Wait a minute. Why didn't I go love crazy when he was wearing these?"

"I don't know. Maybe your love already IS at maximum... or you are just a really boring person.

"Thank you Teddie... as always, you choose your words carefully." The girl gave the blond an annoyed look.

"Ouch... it hurts..."

Teddy realised that he was sitting on Yu, who was lying flat on the grass. "I think I'm injured. Is there glass in my hands? And everywhere else?"

"Oh my god! Yu are you alright! I bring you to the hospital."

"Wait, I help you carry Sensei! I think he is too heavy for you alone to... carry... Yukiko?"

But the girl had already picked up their leader and was running in the direction of the nearest hospital.

"Woah, she is seriously strong."

"Excuse me?..." Ryotaro Dojima stood at the (remains of) the front door and looked at his destroyed living room. "You have exactly 3 seconds to tell me what the fuck happened here or you are all grounded or whatever adults do to punish something like this."

"You can't do that. I am from Child Protective Service! I work with the police and -"

"I AM THE POLICE! NOW GO BACK TO YOUR OFFICE AND DON'T COME OUT UNTIL YOU KNOW WHAT YOU DID HERE!"

"...Yes Mr."

**Author's Note:**

> So the end is a bit rushed, I know, and I might rewrite this sometime later, but I am so full of ideas that I didn't want to be stuck with this one-shot. So, sorry if this was disappointing for you. I hope at least one or two of you could chuckle a little bit while reading this.
> 
> PS: Next big Update will be for The Story. I try to get it done until next Fryday. Some small stuff for Persona Paradise might be posted soon too.
> 
> PPS: Feel free to post ideas for one-shots you want to see in the comments. I want to improve a bit and suggestions from other people might help a lot.


End file.
